Thursday, July 24, 2008


I feel like I like in Florida. No, not the weather. Not the ocean. Not the transplanted Yankees. What I'm talking about is guests. Uninvited guests who show up every summer for about two weeks until we kill most of them.

I'm talking about Fruit Flies. They arrive each summer about this time and just think since we're not the greatest housekeepers, that they can live anywhere they want. This year Mr. and Mrs. Fruit Fly and 12,ooo of their children arrived a few days ago. They love it here, and we've been gracious enough as hosts. Shoot, we've pretty much let them have the run of the house, but this year they are especially fond of my kitchen and bathrooms. I'm talking swarms, clouds of these idiots.

They aren't fast fliers and it's quite the sport here to lock oneself in a bathroom late at night. BOOM! BOOM! CRASH! We all find these sounds so lovely as the person in the bathroom tries to kill as many fruit flies as possible during the time the person should be brushing and flossing. Then the person emerges from the bathroom declaring his victory over fruit flies while forgetting to camouflage his unbrushed and unflossed teeth.

We've tried to be polite about the fruit flies. We've tried to be gracious. We've gotten rid of the produce. We've bleaching the surfaces. We've blasted the drains. We've used the homemade traps and remedies listed on Google. We've even used...chemicals - in our kitchen area.

But nothing works. We still walk into a room only to encounter even more fruit flies than were there 10 minutes before. They find their way into everything. Think contact lenses.

So each year, when Mr. and Mrs. Fruit Fly announce that they are moving in permanently, we have to bring in the guest buster. We are reduced to putting up those horrible fly strips. You know the kind found at most church camps? Those long sticky strips with flies permanently glued to death? That's what we use - in our kitchen - next to the chemicals.

So if we ever move to Florida, our future guests have a little heads-up on what it will be like at our home. Really, we're all about gracious hospitality.


Keeper Of All Things said...

My mom used to put up fly strips and yes i always managed to get it stuck in my matter how out-of-the-way they were put!!
oh and we're all still coming to house for a visit!!

Laura ~Peach~ said...

we dont seem to have this issue ... we do the occasional pain in the butt fly that sneaks into the house but he dies an ugly smushing... our nemisis is/are water bugs these monsters just love to get into the house and crawl around until they are spotted and the war ensues with much screaming and some laughter as the killer tries to chase the others humans living here about with mushy bug guts... but I digress.... I feel your pain... you could always move to georgia instead of florida ya know... then you could visit florida all you want its a tank of gas away as they love to advertise!
HUgs Laura

Pleasing Procrasinator said...

I have this picture in my head of the victorious bathroom scene and I am LMAO.
Those unwanted guest can be so annoying. Ours are the occasional fly but our cats seem to enjoy their company. They have a play mate for the day then they have a little snack for later.

Sue said...

Fruit flies are visiting me as well! I have a glass of wine on the counter with saran wrap over it, with a few little holes in the top. The little flies love wine, drink till they're merry and die. I just have to remember not to drink the wine "trap".

Doris said...

The sticky strips don'r work so well for me . Darn fruit flies seem to know how to avoid them, even when I put the fruit right under them. I will have to try the wine and saran wrap thingie. Sure hate to waste good wine tho.

Doris said...

Laura~Peach...there is a killer for water bugs and roaches that works wonders. You can buy it at the feed store. It is called Demon. Mix it with water in a sprayer and spray inside and outside the house. It is safe for pets. Use a fine spray as it cal leave a white residue on baseboards.One spraying will last about six months.Two times a year will control them. Not bad, huh ?

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