Wednesday, August 20, 2008

This Grass Really IS Greener on the Neighbor's Side

A long time ago, a lovely housewife thoughtfully mowed the yard.  Up and down and back and forth the mower went powered by the housewife's sheer muscle.  She was taking great pride in the fact that the yard would be done before her husband returned from his toil at the office and before her four children completely destroyed each other or the house.

Then, without warning, the quiet of the day was shattered by a loud, "CRUUUUUNCHHHHH!"

The housewife jumped right out of her skin.  Shaken, she looked for the source of the noise.  Just some little plastic thingie.  It was with relief that the housewife continued her mowing.

What the housewife didn't know was that the little plastic thingie was a sprinkler head.

What she didn't know was that that sprinkler head could not be replaced because of its age.  What she didn't know was that she had just killed the entire sprinkler system.

So now the housewife and her man don't water their lawn.  When the grass turns the inevitable dull shade of brown to which they've become accustomed, they brag to each other that they are helping the grass by letting it go into a natural dormant state.  What they don't say is that they have become too cheap  fiscally responsible to install a new system.

But their neighbor waters his lawn.  He waters it twice and sometimes three times a day.  He waters enough for the housewife's sump-pump to turn on every day.  And this makes the housewife's lawn look even more pitiful.


9 comments:

Mental P Mama said...

LOL. No good deed goes unpunished. Isn't that what they say? Just think of all the precious water you save. The Earth thanks you;)

Bobbi said...

Just think of the fresh water you're saving on not watering the lawn. Lawns are the worst things for wasteful water use.

I have two rainbarrels that I use to water my flowers and veggies, but I have NEVER watered the lawn. I typically cut my grass higher than my neighbors, so I still end up with a greener lawn. My neighbor scalps his lawn and by the dog days of August, his yard is brown!

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

I just hope housewife's husband saw above it all and realized what a nice wife he has to mow the lawn for him.

Big Hair Envy said...

You are such a good wife. I am not allowed to mow the lawn. With my luck, I would run over every sprinkler head out there, AND mess up the mower!! It's just how I roll:)

Amy-littletoesandcheerios said...

Funny story! Hey, at least you don't have to cut it as much anymore!

Pleasing Procrasinator said...

So environmentally friendly!!
The lengths you have gone to help the environment:
1st - No more waste of H2o
2nd - The grass is dead not requiring you to run the mower once or twice a week.
Proud of you!!

Veggie Mom said...

Our yard is starting to look like yours--Hubs took the mower in to be repaired, and it doesn't matter that it's taken more than 2 weeks, 'cause it's been so dry here! I spent the whole day gardening, and half the time I was followed around by a HUGE dust cloud--and when I water, everything turns to mud!

Keeper Of All Things said...

We only mow the grass when we can't see the dog in it!!

nikkicrumpet said...

LOL TOO FUNNY I love how you struck out the word "cheap" for the much more palatable "fiscally responsible" Great story...you have a wonderful way with words!