Thursday, October 9, 2008

Caution Loses Patience With Jehovah's Witnesses

When I was a young teenager, I would occasionally see signs on houses.  The signs read, "No Solicitors."  I always thought that meant that the people who lived there didn't like lawyers.  As I got older and wiser, I was surprised to learn that those signs meant the people who lived there didn't like Jehovah's Witnesses.

I am a homeowner now, and don't think those "No Solicitors" signs are very nice.  Since I am all about being sweet, I have my own notice I am going to put out:

 
Dear Jehovah's Witnesses:
 I am not home.  If my garage door is open and I am standing on my driveway or if my front door accidentally opens, I am not home.  If my children look out the front window and yell, "Mom, someone's here," it is meaningless because I am not here.  If you ring my doorbell once, twice or even your requisite 6 or 7 times, it won't bring me home, nor will it work if you try to fake me out by ringing once and then standing on my porch quietly for 10 or 15 minutes afterward.  When I peek out to see if you're gone and find you still there, I will not be home.  I will not be like my former pastor and invite you in to painstakingly translate a Greek New Testament because I don't have one, I can't read any generation of Greek, and I'm not home, of course.  I am not home so I can't tell your perpetually deaf ears that I am happy in my faith and my church.  Nor can I tell those same deaf ears that I do not want your Watch Tower magazine.  You see, I would never have time to read it because I have never been, nor am I currently, nor will I ever again  - be home.

13 comments:

Mental P Mama said...

Will you send me a Word copy of that? kthx

Laura ~Peach~ said...

I will NEVER forget the day.... Martha was about 4 I think... I was in the bath relaxing she was watching barney or some such and here she comes with two women behind her... to my BATHROOM! after I had a nakid coniption(sp) fit, they left and did not return for several years... now they come from time to time but ALL have been trained ... no peeping out windows no answering the door no loud walking through the house as you peep out the windows and IF you should open the door you are required to do the talking with do NOT come find me!
BLAH.
I have a friend that I really like he is a JW. but we NEVER EVER talk religion. we agreed ages ago to enjoy each others company when our paths cross and to hold to our own beliefs and that is that :)

Living on the Spit said...

I think there should be a law or something against solicting...that is also one of my pet peeves.

Julie said...

that is so funny! There is actually a group here that reaches out to the expat community and speaks engligh. They are always ringing my buzzer and I always tell them I am not interested and I am a missionary here and know all about God. They won't leave me alone though.

I majored in English... so love the fact you teach it. I wish I could go back to college, it would be so fun now that I am older!

Big Hair Envy said...

Those people are persistent. Our house is about 3/4 of a mile off of the hard surface road, and once in a while they STILL show up at my door. Of course, I am NEVER home.

The Cotton Wife said...

I am soooo showing this post to my Dad. Awwwwwesome.

McEwens said...

LOL!! You are pretty cleaver!

CAT said...

But apparently it's fine with you to teach your kids that LYING is perfectly acceptable in your home.

What is so wrong with just being truthful and telling them you do not wish them to come back...?

PS - Jehovah's Witnesses do not solicit or sell anything. They are simply following the way of their leader, Jesus Christ, who went door to door himself preaching the good news of the kingdom, and they are following his command (found at Matthew 28:19,20) to do so also.

Caution Flag said...

Oh, Cat! Laugh a little. For the record, I have always been polite to the Jehovah's Witnesses at my door, but they do continue to want to debate and they do continue to ring my bell on a regular basis.

Anonymous said...

Wasn't their leader Charles Taze Russell and then Jesus Christ (in that order). I think that's where you'll find the difference. It was later discovered that Charles miscalculated back in 1914?
While I greatly admire their dedication, it's unfortunate that Satan has so carefully led a group just slightly off course.
The missed humor here is that these individuals are so dedicated and well trained that they shame some of us evangelicals in their knowledge of "select" scriptures. Nobody here is LYING to their children, just laughing at themselves with some friends in blog world.

LadiesoftheHouse said...

Well now, after reading this I realize I am fortunate indeed! Our resident JW's just spread out, each take a house, throw their paperwork on each doorstep and leave. They don't ring the bell or knock loudly because they don't want to rouse the bears that are sleeping in the woods around everybody's house.

Karen said...

I wonder what would happen if we would just tell them that we'd prefer them to not come back?

Heidi said...

Well said Anon... I always answer my door and offer them a tract of my own. They never accept and niether do I. They ask my why I wont take thier liturature and I tell them the same reason you wont take mine. :)

I have always welcomed them because I can be just as devoted to my faith as they can. :)AND God has led them to my door for a reason - and it aint coffee clutching!! LOL