Thursday, October 16, 2008

The Trauma of a Walk

You've met Pepper the Puppy.  She is smart and sweet and very fond of ear lobes.  She is also very fond of her bed.  Stretched out, upside down is her favorite way to spend the day.

But one of the reasons I bought Pepper is because I have a little excess luggage around the middle, the chest, the thighs, and the under arms which needs to find a new home.  That luggage is going nowhere fast, so I need to do something. 

I could diet.  NOT.   I could just stop complaining about it.  NOT.  I could exercise! I could use that big balance ball I bought last year.  NOT.  I could use the Ablounger I bought this summer.  NOT.  I could use the Gazelle I bought two years ago.  NOT.  I finally figured it out.  I could just walk, and for that I would need a dog.

Now that puzzled Checkered immensely.  He is just silly like that!

So now I have Pepper and we know that dogs love their walks.  Here is a picture of Pepper.
No, she is not in our yard.  Yes, we are taking a walk.  No, she is NOT WALKING.
We have adopted the only dog who despises moving.  Researcher that I am, I spent some time with the topic. Here is what I learned:

  • Offer the recalcitrant dog a treat.

  • Never offer the recalcitrant dog a treat.

  • Tug on her lead.

  • Never tug on her lead.
SO then, after putting that cutting edge research into action, I dragged Pepper around the block.....
....where another dog ceremoniously peed on her.
She and I managed to get home.  She and I survived her immediate bath.
She is now recovering in the sock basket.
And I am recovering in the ice cream container.

9 comments:

Living on the Spit said...

I am dying with laughter! You have got to be one of the funniest bloggers I know. Girl, I literally HAVE to come visit you everyday just to see what you are into now.

YOu got a dog that hates to walk!!! LMAO....this will be with me all day.

I have a cat that talks ALL the time and carries a huge stuffed bear around the house.

Love the sock basket...I thought I was the only one on earth that used that idea!!! We have a similar mind.

Love YOU!!! Really.

Marlene

Mental P Mama said...

That dog is priceless. So is the mommy.

Laura ~Peach~ said...

THAT My dear would be what would happen to me... I am sorry to be sitting here laughing... I had the only dog on the planet who hated all people especially us. this chow mix was born here and we gave his siblings away and his mama ran away... we kept bear the prettiest dog god ever made...we had hopes of this dogs feirce loyalty (the chow in him) and protective ness and fun walking him and playing with him... this dog would not allow anyone near him after he was about 5 months old, if you tried to walk him he would bite before you could get a collar on him... he would run away if you came near him he bit the vet at shot time he would not take treats from you if you came closer to his space than 4 feet or so he would pace and growl until you were out of his space... we had this dog 10 years and in the last couple he woudl let me pet his head but he finally discovered how to dig and would dig out of his yard almost daily ... he would not come when called he would run as fast as he could everywhere and eventually would come back to eat or drink... one day he dug out and never returned...that was a couple years ago...sometimes I miss his antisocial self but other times I hope he is finally a happy dog and out running with his nose to the wind.

Heidi said...

LOL that was to good - Maybe I could put a leash on one of the kids and pretend to take them for a walk.. Do you think that would work? As long as she is in the sock basket, put her to work man!! LOL

Keeper Of All Things said...

AHHHH....the sock basket IS the best place to recover!! :)

big hair envy said...

Bwahahaha! Sounds like your new puppy fits right in!!! You'll just have to embrace your new blogger butt like the rest of us:)

Please pass the ice cream.

addhumorandfaith said...

A great story!

Keeper of the Skies Wife said...

Love pepper! Love the fact that she is sleeping in the sock basket! My fur baby loves when I take the clothes out of the dryer. He jumps in them.
Thanks for stopping by my BATW yesterday! Love your blog.

Sue said...

I highly recommend Ben and Jerry's, Mint Chocolate Chunk for you and vanilla for the dog.