My friend called at 7 o'clock on Sunday night. She was very, very tired, but had much to accomplish before bed. My call was on that list. We spent a good amount of time analyzing her tiredness. After church, she went home and cooked, served, and then cleaned the kitchen. From there it was on to washing floors, doing multiple loads of laundry, decorating the house for Christmas, planning a party for the church youth group, and getting her entire family ready for Monday. At some point in there, she realized that while she had yet to sit down, her husband had yet to sit up.
She checked and realized that he was not dead, nor was he ill. He simply didn't share her list of things to do, and for that she was beyond annoyed.
In the early days of their marriage, she was a stay at home mom and felt it was her duty to be totally responsible for the house. Her husband went to work every day to provide for my friend and their MANY children. At times, she resented what he did not do at home, but guilt would not allow her to suggest any change.
Then the husband's employment changed drastically and my friend went to work outside the home. But the division of labor within the home did not change.
She made me think about my marriage and how things operate here. Checkered and I certainly have our individual strengths and weaknesses, but at some point in our marriage we reached a tacit agreement that the house, the shopping, the kids and their academic and social commitments, the budgeting of time and money, the lawn and snow removal, and everything else was not HIS responsibility nor was it MY responsibility. All these things were OUR responsibilities. So we juggle, and get frustrated sometimes, and snip, and work together. We're absolutely a team. And by the end of most days, we can still smile at each other.
When each of our children was born, I began to pray for the people they would marry. I pray for Lord's protection and blessing on their emotional, physical, and spiritual health. Now I think I might throw in a little extra prayer. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if that boy and those three girls who will someday love our daughter and sons really understood the concept of partnership, thoughtfulness, and sharing in marriage?