Friday, January 23, 2009

Friday Funnies

I loved Laura's idea last Friday to post something funny.  So, here's an email I received:


And then the fight started....






My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And then the fight started...



****



A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

The husband replies, "Your eyesight's darn near perfect."

And then the fight started.....

****





Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started ...

****





My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says my wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started.....



****

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started.....

14 comments:

Living on the Spit said...

I so needed this funny stuff this morning. Thanks for such a great laugh.

Marlene

Sue said...

Thanks for the Friday funny! :)

My Metabolic Rate is Stuck said...

Luved them ALL!
Oh...I can relate to the fishing story
(except it was hunting)
THANKS FOR THE Laughs today!

mom x 2 said...

Thanks for the laughs! Great way to start my Friday :)

Have a good weekend!

Betty said...

LOL hahaha, thanks for that!

Laura ~Peach~ said...

giggles!!!!!!!!

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

I needed that!
Thanks bunches =)

Pleasing Procrasinator said...

LOL..I loved these. Thanks!!

Mental P Mama said...

I love these things. Love them.

McEwens said...

phone a friend!!! TOO FUNNY

pam said...

You're still high on cough meds aren't you?

;)

Dr.John said...

I read these before but they were still funny the second time.

Keeper Of All Things said...

OK the fishing story sounds kinda familiar except I think it was golfing.
Thanks for the laughs

Jeannelle said...

Good ones, Caution!