1. Have a lovely phone interview with another college to teach part-time in their online program.
2. End the interview with the "understanding" that you will be hired provided you pass their training course.
3. Attempt to log-in for several days with your newly-assigned employee password. Note the "Access denied" message each time.
4. With your newly-fixed password, take the pre-assessment. If you score a 92% or higher, you will not have to take the course.
5. Score a 72%.
6. Note that the post-assessment will be twice as long as the pre-assessment you just scored 72% on.
7. Reread the directions and confirm that you have only two opportunities to pass the post-assessment. After that, you're not going to teach at this school.
8. Participate in the first component of the course. With some panic, take the 5-item self-check at the end of the component. Be able to answer only one item before panic swallows you whole.
9. After eating the leftover turkey and a fudge pop, reread the first component. Take the same 5-item self-check and correctly answer two items.
10. Resort to googling the self-check items.
11. Pass the first component, and feel okay until the first video of the second component assures you that this course is not taught in any language you know.
12. Cry when you realize that there are 9 components left to pass before you can take that ever-so-important post-assessment. Yes, the one you have only two chances to pass.