My final decision was paint. After promising Checkered that I would practice on the bathroom vanity before disassembling and destroying the kitchen, I proceeded. I decided on BM (Benjamin Moore) Bittersweet Chocolate.
Checkered said, "There's something so wrong about using a paint called BM Bittersweet Chocolate in the bathroom."
Thus, I bought a gallon of Bear Rug by Behr and painted away.
BEFORE: Faded walnut stainAFTER: It really does look better in person - and just wait until the doors are back on!!
I know you're thinking the wallpaper has to go, but concentrate on COUNTER TOPS.
Get your mind out of the clutter and focus.