Tuesday, October 6, 2009

La Influenza

Early on Sunday morn, la influenza came calling. Sore throat, headache, and raging fever put its personal mark on child number 3. He was one of two asthmatic children living here who should have had a flu shot the first day they came out - if only President Obama had stopped by to pick up the tab. Since he failed to locate our house, October and a new paycheck seemed a much smarter way to experience the vaccine. Ironically, it was the very day the shots were scheduled that la influenza rang our doorbell.

At 4 p.m. Sunday, the thermometer was a constant fixture in all ears here and poetic phrases escaped nervous lips.

"I'm 99.9 in the left ear and 100.5 in the right."
"Oh yeah, well I'm 101.1 in the right and 97.8 in the left."

By Sunday night, child #3 was emptying his already empty food repository all over the kitchen floor and his parents were scrambling to see who could best take a day off work on Monday.

Monday morning at 6.30 brought the usual demands always polite requests:

"Will you finish making my lunch?"

"Can you get the laces in my shoes?"
"Do you think my fever of 99.0 is high enough for me to stay home from school?"

At 8:30 a.m., the erstwhile mother realized that each of her children had used the same hand towel to wipe their post-brushed mouths, and she nearly lost her esteemed well-contained composure.

Thus, at 9:02 a.m., she removed all towels from house and hung paper towels in their place.

At 5:37 p.m, the patriarch of the homestead used a buzz saw to cut the paper towels in half and thereby reduce the financial obligations of said brainstorm.

By 8:00 p.m. child #3 and child #4 claimed ignorance that paper towels weren't supposed to be flushed even though they might look exactly like toilet tissue.

By 8:38 p.m. Monday, the mother had moved into the sick room to tend Master Influenza where she reported to all concerned:

"I'm 99.9 in the left and 101.3 in the right."

Interestingly enough, no one even looked her way.


T said...

Oh no!

I hope #3 is feeling better and that you don't sucumb to it! I do have to say I got quite a chuckle out of the whole paper towel part though! Good thinking on your part!

We just went thru a "flu like" (WTF?) virus. All the nasty joys of the flu, minus the fever! And know what - the poor kid got no respect from the doctors due to the lack of a fever. Whatev.......

LadyFi said...

Oh no! Hope you and the kids feel better soon!

Steph said...

I hope everyone feels better soon! La influenza is never any fun!

...stopping by from SITS...

Steph @ Stick It in the Fridge


Busy Bee Suz said...

Oh my goodness. Your family is about as wacky as us. Must be the reason I always smile when reading your posts...even about sick kids and buzz cut paper towel rolls.
I HOPE #3 feels better and NO ONE else gets this.
Darn Obama. He missed my house too, I hope we will be safe.

Checkered said...

Honey. I think you're always HOT!

imbeingheldhostage said...

Oh you poor thing!! If it's any consolation, my hubby is required to get those shots and he's the ONLY one in our house to get them-- he is then usually sick for a few days. My oldest, living in NM was required to get the shot about a week ago-- has been sick since. Maybe you bought yourself a little peace waiting to get them?

I hope you're up and registering at 98.6 both ears, soon!

imbeingheldhostage said...

BTW, buzz cut paper towels? Brilliant.

I Am Woody said...

Oh no!! Hope everyone feels better soon!!

Mental P Mama said...

Oh no! I hope you are all on the mend soon. At least you are getting it out of the way....;)

claudia said...

Get well soon everyone!

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

Sorry to hear all this! Feel better soon over there! Sending chicken noodle soup your way!

big hair envy said...

You needed one. more. thing. Didn't you???

Hope everyone is on the mend....there are sunny skies ahead;)

Unknown said...

Love the buzz sawed paper towels...that needs to be marketed...seriously. How ingenius of Checkered to come up with that.

I am hoping that you are all on the mend real soon.

betty said...

I'm so sorry! I hope you don't get it because you know moms can never get sick and if they did, they can never rest like they should

so sorry the flu hit before the shot was able to be administered; I think its going to be a nasty flu year with all the different bugs around this year

hoping all feel better soon; and don't forget to get new toothbrushes for the infected


Decadent Housewife said...

Oh man, men and their saws.

Hope things start getting better.

Betty W said...

hahaha, I like Checkered´s comment! :)
I hope you´re feeling better! Just wait till HE get´s it....

Lawyer Mom said...

You certainly speak the truth! The whole house comes down with a scarey bug and no one, NO ONE, stops to think the mom might feel a bit weak in the knee.

Hang in there, girl!

Anonymous said...

Hope all get feeling better - and love the paper towel idea!

Stopping by from SITS

Anonymous said...

The paper towel idea? One I'll have to remember. My eldest daughter and I are known as 'The Plague Nurses' in our house because if anything nasty strikes we go into overdrive wiping down things like door handles!

Hope everyone feels better soon.

Mrs4444 said...

Checkered is such a sweetie... Hope you're all feeling better!