The Champion of Geeks

My daughter is crazy for a boy who is a jerk. He's smart and funny and irreverent. He's also mean, unpredictable, and unloyal. She denies that he is of any interest to her, but that's what friends and brothers are for: to tell the mom everything she needs to know.

Recently, my daughter spent several hours in the company of some very different boys. They are well-controlled, intellectual in nature, polite and even kind to everyone they encounter. They have earned a reputation as good and dependable workers. But they're also a little Dugger-esque without the multiple babies or the long-haired sisters.

Because I never, ever meddle, I told my daughter she should maybe take an interest in that second group of boys. I am certain they would treat her with kindness and be honorable. Their lack of a sense of humor notwithstanding, they would be fine date material.

"No way!! I would never date a geek. I'm not like you!"

And so she laughed and her FATHER aka Checkered Whom I Used to Love, laughed, too.

"Oh, your mom sure did like to date geeks!" Hahahahahahaha!!

"I know! Have you seen the pictures with all those guys and their enormous glasses!!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I felt it necessary to point out that most of the geeks were now enjoying very successful mid-lives, thank you very much, and they never treated me with anything but respect, AND I had fun dating most all of them.

But I've been thinking about you, Mr. Checkered. You were certainly cool in high school. And you were certainly cool for a while after that, but the minute you went back to school and fretted if your gpa dropped below 4.0, the minute you became addicted to tallying your Weight Watcher points on your Blackberry, the minute you began to take pride in how you do laundry and wash dishes, the minute you started arriving at work an HOUR before the start time, well, you became an official geek. And you are the reason I happen to know that geeks become wonderful husbands.

Perhaps you could forward those thoughts on to your daughter now.