~That I should have bought an oil company twenty years ago.
~That some moms can put on a garbage bag, hiking boots, and a trench coat and look sexy.
~That I can't.
~That I could happily outfit myself from the Tractor Supply store.
~Do you see now how big the un-sexiness problem really is???
~That my kids prefer restaurant chili to mine.
~That my kids prefer ANY restaurant food to mine.
~That my children will always shock me with their comments. My youngest son recently came to me with a tampon and said he couldn't decide if it was a pen or part of a Lego-type-thingie. Then, the next day, my middle son said, "I pray you never have to see Daddy naked."
What else have I learned to accept?
~That my dog will always prefer eating a piece of coal to dog food.
~That I am an expert at interpreting teen girl speak.
The daughter speaks:
"I want you to come with me to the choir banquet, Mom. You can sit with Jen's mom. The dancing begins at 8."
"Other parents are going to be there and I don't want to be the only one without a parent in case I need money for something. Jen and I have thoughtfully found seats for you and her mom so that Jen and I don't have to interact too much with you all. Please go home at 7:55 before the dancing begins. You are free to pick me up at 10 when the fun is over."
Now go visit Mrs. 4444:
and the girl: