Wednesday's Wisdom

In high school, I had a teacher who wasn't so sweet. I was quite shy and struggling to find out who I was and where I was headed in life. One day, the teacher asked me to do something during class and when I understood what it was that she wanted me to do, I began to move in that direction to accomplish the task. The problem was that she was still talking.

She erupted in a verbal mess all over me. She told me (and all the other stunned students) that I was immature, that I was disrespectful, that I was arrogant to think that I knew what she was saying before she had even finished talking. She humiliated me that day.

In the ensuing years though, I've come to understand what she was saying.

• How many times have I been speaking only to have someone else rush in and finish my sentence?
• How many times have I been in the middle of asking a question only to have someone cut me off with their answer?
• And how many times have I wanted to share my own experience only to have someone else follow-up with, "But MY experience was so much worse than yours!"

I'm tired of it happening to me. I'm tired of doing it others.

Every year I adopt a mantra. My motto for 2009 is, "Just listen."

Although it was inarticulate in delivery and poorly timed in choice, I suppose that really is what that teacher was trying to say all those years ago.

Wednesday's Wisdom

Checkered and I survived our first high school orientation for our daughter. On the ride to the high school, we were commiserating over our shock at how quickly the years are moving. So it was two slightly sad parents who sat through the presentations that night.

Later, during our tour of our girl's new school, I ran into an acquaintance whose daughter graduated last year.

I asked how she (the mother) was doing, and when she said, "I choose to be excited," I was puzzled.

She went on to tell me of her daughter's graduation and how other mothers were crying and lamenting the passing years. The new grads were full of excitement, anxiety, and a little guilt about what the mothers were saying. That was when my acquaintance decided to see these changes through her daughter's eyes. And what she saw was excitement, limitless possibilities, and a desire for a mom who wasn't crying.

Now that girl is headed to Russia for the summer. Is her mom nervous? Is her mom aware of the potential troubles? But is her mom choosing to see the experience through her daughter's excited eyes? You bet.

I'm trying. I really am :)