Monday, November 24, 2008

Coming for Dinner Any Time Soon?

I'm stealing Jan's meme today to reveal yet another glimmering, glamorous aspect of myself. After this, I am certain no one will be knocking on my door asking for a meal!

Five of my kitchen/eating blunders:

5. There was the time I baked bread for my professor, but forgot to add salt. So what? Well, here's so what. The bread tasted horrible! And I still gave it to her :)

4. How about the time I was draining pasta, and let go of the lid on the pot? The pasta went directly into the sink and down the drain. Yes, that pasta got pulled right back out, rinsed off, and served.

3. This one belongs to my daughter. The first time her severe nut-allergy friend came over, my daughter offered her peanut butter. We'll always wonder about that one.

2. There was the pumpkin pie I made for my mom. Somehow, the egg yolks weren't properly mixed UNBEKNOWNST to me. I proudly served my mom the first slice - complete with a hard-boiled egg yolk right in the middle. We laughed until we were absolutely sick.

1. And finally, there was the Thanksgiving I was two weeks away from giving birth to my third child and I had a houseful of company. I was also working and was completely overwhelmed, so I did a logical thing. I ordered Thanksgiving dinner from the local Kroger. Preparing to serve the meal at 2:30, I asked for a 1:30 pick-up time. The table was set. Some of the guests were actually waiting at the table when Checkered, my dad, and BIL walked in with the bags and boxes containing our turkey, dressing, potatoes, rolls, et cetera The strained expression on Checkered's face should have alarmed me. The worried expression on my dad's face should have troubled me. The just-barely contained laughter on my BIL face should have done me in. What was their secret?

Kroger does indeed serve Thanksgiving dinner, but it arrives completely FROZEN.
After my emotional collapse, we all crowded into the kitchen and worked to thaw, prepare and finally (hours later) eat a delicious meal!

12 comments:

Mental P Mama said...

No thanks, I already have plans;)

ladyfi said...

Oh - that is hilarious! I can relate with the pumpkin pie catastrophe and fishing pasta out of the drain is a pretty commonplace activity!

Cairo Typ0 said...

That's hilarious! I'm totally with you on serving the pasta! What your diners don't know won't kill 'em. I'm a firm believer in the 5 second rule. :D

Ashley said...

This is too good! Every single one of these is sheer excellence!

big hair envy said...

Some people might lick the stirring spoon to taste what they're cooking, and then return it to the pot. Not that I would do that....

pam said...

You should NEVER step foot in a kitchen again. And somehow, I will mail you cake. Someday, cake... fully thawed, no yoke in the middle delicious cake will mysteriously arrive. And I will make sure it does not have peanut butter icing so you can share with d's friend too. You should never bake, never cook, period. Eat out (*not Kroger take out, that does not count!). Always. You are simply not meant to be in a kitchen. Are you?! (I am totally teasing you my friend)

big hair envy said...

I keep forgetting to tell you how much I like your new picture!!! You are one HAWT Mama:)...even if you should stay out of the kitchen.

Dr.John said...

Thanks for sharing your rather to be forgotten moments.

Jan said...

Are you SURE we aren't related?

Jeannelle said...

Thank you, caution, for some needed Thanksgiving week comic relief! I'm tough....I'd eat at your house any day! You maybe could have invented a new type of pumpkin pie there....with a whole cooked yolk in each piece. It might be a hit, you never know!

Have a blessed Thanksgiving!

jojo said...

The pumpkin pie episode almost made me puke. Thanks for the heads-up...;)

Mrs4444 said...

WOW. I'm glad you were able to roll with it (after your breakdown) :)