- That he was calling to say he loved me
- That he was calling to ask what kind of pizza we were getting for dinner
- That he was calling to say he would be home in time to pick up the boys from school.
"I'm calling with ... some really bad news. It's ... sad. It's terrible."
And that is where I stopped listening and THOUGHT I heard him tell me that my mother had passed on to Heaven. Oh! I grieved immediately. My mother! Gone!
Then, after a short while of grieving, I moved onto rage that my husband would choose the medium of voicemail to tell me that my mother had died.
I was beside myself with anger. How thoughtless! How stupid! How cruel!
And then I thought I had better be brave enough to replay the voicemail message and actually listen to it all the way through. I would deal with divorcing Checkered after my mom's funeral.
His actual message said,
"I'm calling with ... some really bad news. It's ... sad. It's terrible. I have to work late tonight and won't be home until 7. I really hate this. Call me. I love you."
So my mom is wonderfully alive, I am not divorcing my husband, AND he did not get any over time pay (thank-you, Automaker Bailout Loan conditions.)
The moral of the story: do not leave voicemail messages for a woman who may have temporarily taken leave of her rational thinking ability while in a carwash.
And, Pam? If you refer to me as a nutty professor this time, I will understand.