A Noctunal Tale

This is my bed. This is where I lay last Sunday repenting sincerely for eating such an enormous volume of fiber.This is where I lay feeling the pressure build inside and listening as the gas bubbles multiplied.This is where I lay wishing Checkered would go to sleep so I could "relax." And this is where I lay knowing I could not fall asleep before Checkered did because I would lose control of those bubbles and he would find that exceptionally humorous.This is my bed where I lay again after a refreshing 10 minute stroll around the house and where I returned to find that Checkered was still awake but with the t.v. sound TURNED OFF!This is where I lay feeling the internal pressure again build to dangerous levels. This is where I lay knowing I could no longer freely move any muscle group without disastrous results.And this is where I lay on Sunday night, when from the other side of the cavernous bed I heard a muffled ffft.And mrrrp.And fttpmrrrrp. And hearing no proclamation of ownership or apology from that other person in my bed innocently watching t.v.,this is where I lay when I decided to abandon all decorum and join the musical chorus emanating from our bed.This is my bed where I lay as I thought, "What a sexy twosome we've become. "