Dear Walmart Cashier,

I learned a lot about business from you today.  I learned so much that I'm giving serious consideration to making some changes in the way I handle my own job.  So as of tomorrow, there will be a new and improved Dr. Caution in the classroom.  Here are the changes you've influenced.

~  Starting tomorrow, I will refuse to greet my students as they walk into class. Instead, when they smile at me, I'll glare back so that they know how I really feel about having to work.

~ I will sigh very loudly once class begins and before I do any work. It's best that the students understand how annoying it is for me to work with them.

~Once class is really underway, I shall begin to work as fast as I can so that the students can't get all their groceries on the belt quickly enough  can't get all their notes copied before I erase the board.  If they can't keep up with me, I'll roll my eyes at them.  That will surely motivate them to move more quickly.

~ I will be certain to refuse to tell them how to write the next assignment.  If they really want to know what they owe me, they can just read about it in the syllabus.

~I will make every effort to put their fragile essays in the same bag with a wet gallon of milk.

~And when it's time for me to assist them with gathering their belongings at the end of class, I will begin to thoroughly inspect my nails until they have completed my their task.  At that point, my nail inspection will be finished.

Thank-you, Ms. Cashier, for helping me to reevaluate my own job performance.  I am hopeful that if Walmart's success is any indication, I will be the wealthiest part-time teacher in town by tomorrow night.  Of course when that happens, I'll be able to shop at specialty food stores. 

Karma's crazy like that sometimes.

Sincerely,
Your 8:30 customer who was the ONLY customer in your lane

Walmart Wins Again

My daughter - my teen-aged daughter - wanted a hair cut.

Facetiously, I said,

"I'll take you to Walmart."

Seriously, she replied,

"Okay. I like your hair. Let's go!"

What kind of mother does that to her hyper-aware teenager?

Somebody could have seen her walk into Walmart!!

After the cut, we picked up a million dollars worth of groceries and my teenager, who finds fault in every.single.hair cut, said,

"I LOVE my hair!!"

To Lori at the Clinton Township Walmart:

You're the best!!

Now please don't quit or get fired, okay?

On the Cusp of Excitement

We spent Friday evening at Walmart. The goal was to buy lunch bags and Halloween costumes. We bought shoes, winter coats, and a full cart of other items. We came home one costume shy and completely forgot to get the lunch bags.

One item we bought, a cape for Halloween, was on the $10 rack but had no barcode. There were no other items like it. We told the cashier all these things, and that seemed to put her into a cloud of confusion. She walked over to talk to another cashier and then decided to simply stop our line while someone else handled it. In the meanwhile, the belt was full with the next shopper's things and our line got longer and longer as our cashier stood motionless with her back to us. After several minutes, the manager came running over to see what the problem was. The cashier assured her that "someone" was looking for a price. We told the manager the same thing we began the work stoppage with: $10 rack, no barcode, only one. After several more minutes, while we waited with the rudest cashier in town, another manager started calling the now-missing first manager. FINALLY, the second manager told us, "We'll say it's $10," finished ringing us up, and we left. It was efficiency at its worst.

And to think: I actually thought for a minute or 12 about applying at the new Walmart being built near our house. I, too, could be inefficient and rude and get minimum wage to do it.


Now, for a Walmart link a friend sent:
http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/