Checkered's Other Wife

Checkered got a new car last year, and fell instantly head-over-heels in love. Given the choice: Caution or the car, well I'm not sure what he would choose.

Every day after work, he would vacuum it out. It's a little car, and often he was the only rider, but that vacuuming would go on and on and on. The kids didn't understand it. I was patient, though, because I was certain he would vacuum my gravel hauler family van out next. Didn't happen.

The kids didn't enjoy riding with him because they were reprimanded if they exhaled (an exaggeration, of course!) or touched the dash with their feet. Okay, I get that one!

Then last summer, Checkered didn't stop as quickly as the car in front of him. The other car was a bit messed up, but not the Caliber! (You see, American cars are just fine, thank-you.) Checkered's car had the equivalent of a zit on the front. Oh, how he fussed between vacuumings. He actually took the hair dryer out there and tried to reform the zit. Then he had the damage appraised - to fix a car zit. The kids and I shook our heads and silently laughed.

He tried to tell me he was proud of his car, and that bothered me on many levels. I didn't understand his open affection for a car. A Caliber, of all cars.

A few weeks after the zit incident, a coworker referred to Checkered's car as a Barbie car. I know that hurt Checkered, but the kids and I thought it was pretty funny.

Then the snows began and the vacuuming stopped. But the winds picked up, too. Checkered has always parked his car about 1/4" from the basketball net because that will always prevent our children from touching his car when they are in the driveway, you know. But ... and you know where this is going, don't you? One night during the holidays, we had wind gusts of 50 mph. Come on, you have to know where that basketball pole and net went, don't you? Yup, right onto Checkered's true love. A lot more than a car zit this time.

Of course, the damage is already fixed, but the kids and I couldn't help but laughing right out loud when we each looked at the dents, gouges, and scrapes.

I'm sorry, Checkered, but if that vacuum comes back out every night come spring, you, I, and the Caliber are going to have to find a counselor.

Organic or Not?

I am conflicted in multiple ways. Because there are so many wiser and clear-thinking people in the blogoshere, I've decided to share some of these conflicts with you in the hopes that you will help me unconflict. Deal?


Today's conflict revolves around organic consumer products.

When I first became aware of consumer foods, I really thought they were just another gimmick designed to separate me from my paycheck. I thought that organic was synonymous with designer, synthetic, belonging to the "rich" part of town just like the full-size Hummers and the brand new Jaguars. (Hey, when did the pronunciation of that car change from Jag-waar to Jag-u-ar??)

Then, much to my chagrin, these same organic products began to be sold under store brand labels. Now I can buy Kroger organic butter, Kroger organic milk, Kroger organic whatever. Unfortunately, these organic store brands are still more expensive than the non-organic store brands.

Here is my limited knowledge of organic: I know it means that the product was farmed/made/grown without the use of chemicals. I also know that some of these growth hormones and other chemicals are wreaking havoc with children's growth and development, so organic milk and meats (and eggs?) make sense to me. I also know that Checkered's cousin was going to transition her farm to an organic farm, but couldn't find enough local distributors to justify her costs. I guess that means that any organic product is going to cost me more.

This week I saw organic cotton pajamas at the store. There were also organic cotton sheets. The packaging told me that I would love their softness and natural comfort, but do I really need organic pajamas? Maybe the rule would be that if I am ingesting it, organic is good?

What is your opinion of organic products? Do you buy organic food products? If so, what? Do you buy organic non-food products?

If you could help un-conflict me, I would be most appreciative.