Caution's Cooking Conquest

I cannot believe how many recipes people carry around in their heads!  It seems that any time I

• sit at a ball game
• sit through a scouting event
• sit through a church-related event
• stand in line at the grocery store

people begin to talk food, and that talk turns to recipes.  And that is when people say, "I have the greatest way to make ..."

I love to hear those recipes, but I never remember them. 

Okay, there is one exception.  Years ago while we waited for our young daughters to sell Girl Scout cookies at Kroger, a woman said,

"Put a couple of pounds of beef stew, a couple of cans of tomatoes, and a couple of cans of Bush's Chili Magic into a crock pot.  Voila! Dinner will be served eight hours later."

I love that recipe and love doctoring it with different things. As a matter of fact, it's what's for dinner tonight.

A couple of weeks ago my family went to a party ~ a grand party with the most gracious hosts who know how to cook.  Among the DOZENS of dishes they put out, one held ribs and that prompted me to admit that I cannot cook ribs to save my life.

You should have heard the chorus around that room:

• use vinegar!
• use beer!
• Make Checkered cook!

The woman next to me quietly said that she had the best method ever! Then she told me to do three things, but I knew that was two things too many to remember, so she scrounged up paper and a pen and wrote those things down.  I stuffed that paper into my pocket and found it a few day later.

 She was right:  KILLER ribs !! 

I was going to call and thank her, but my son now says I've been mispronouncing the woman's name for a year (he couldn't have told me months ago????)  I think an email thank-you will suffice; don't you?



Just a Little Snip

I once got a tearful call from a friend who was heartbroken over the fact that her husband had scheduled a vasectomy without discussing it with her. She was grateful for their two children, but always thought there would be more. I was shocked that the husband would make that decision without benefit of her blessing. When I suggested that perhaps he would postpone the procedure if she shared her broken heart with him, she replied that if getting snipped would make him happy, so be it. My response of what about her being happy fell on those proverbial deaf ears.

Later, I listened as another friend announced her husband would get a vasectomy - or else. Her husband was the one in this case hoping to add one more child to the family, but for the sake of peace, the appointment was made and kept.

And because all things here come back to me, I was thinking about the, "How many kids shall we have?" discussions Checkered and I had. We liked the number three. But after our second baby was born, I had a miscarriage and decided that two babies were enough. But Checkered really wanted three. And although I could have lived happily with two, we had that third one. And he is such an enrichment to our family.

I do wonder what would have happened in my friends' lives had the "We're done!" spouse been willing to have one more.

Of course, we ended up with a bonus #4 baby. And the day that baby was born, Checkered and I both knew: it was time to make the appointment.

Life surely is a fun ride, isn't it?

P.S. Not that the topic of family planning made me think of her, but http://noenoegirl.blogspot.com/ is the new Heloise. Her little salt trick helped my frying pan! I was going to drive down to Virginia and give her a thank-you hug, but then Google maps said it would be an 11 hour drive. A virtual hug will have to do. Then again, I am on spring break this week...

P.P.S. What I made was a variation of PW's Pan-Fried Ribeye. I suspect it turned out better in Oklahoma.

Heloise, Where ARE You?

I tried one of PW's recipes with so-so success.  My GreenPan, however, is the worse for wear.  Any suggestions? And if you're planning to say, "Eat out," I'm waaaaay ahead of you there!

Coming for Dinner Any Time Soon?

I'm stealing Jan's meme today to reveal yet another glimmering, glamorous aspect of myself. After this, I am certain no one will be knocking on my door asking for a meal!

Five of my kitchen/eating blunders:

5. There was the time I baked bread for my professor, but forgot to add salt. So what? Well, here's so what. The bread tasted horrible! And I still gave it to her :)

4. How about the time I was draining pasta, and let go of the lid on the pot? The pasta went directly into the sink and down the drain. Yes, that pasta got pulled right back out, rinsed off, and served.

3. This one belongs to my daughter. The first time her severe nut-allergy friend came over, my daughter offered her peanut butter. We'll always wonder about that one.

2. There was the pumpkin pie I made for my mom. Somehow, the egg yolks weren't properly mixed UNBEKNOWNST to me. I proudly served my mom the first slice - complete with a hard-boiled egg yolk right in the middle. We laughed until we were absolutely sick.

1. And finally, there was the Thanksgiving I was two weeks away from giving birth to my third child and I had a houseful of company. I was also working and was completely overwhelmed, so I did a logical thing. I ordered Thanksgiving dinner from the local Kroger. Preparing to serve the meal at 2:30, I asked for a 1:30 pick-up time. The table was set. Some of the guests were actually waiting at the table when Checkered, my dad, and BIL walked in with the bags and boxes containing our turkey, dressing, potatoes, rolls, et cetera The strained expression on Checkered's face should have alarmed me. The worried expression on my dad's face should have troubled me. The just-barely contained laughter on my BIL face should have done me in. What was their secret?

Kroger does indeed serve Thanksgiving dinner, but it arrives completely FROZEN.
After my emotional collapse, we all crowded into the kitchen and worked to thaw, prepare and finally (hours later) eat a delicious meal!

One of the Reasons I Blog

See this dish?

See the crumbs?

That is all that remains of dinner last Wednesday.

What, you ask, could prompt the picky family incarnate to eat the entire meal?

Marlene's Sausage-Apple Breakfast Bake, that's what.

Thank-you, Miss Marlene.

Now, what's for dinner this week?

She just posted what's for dinner this week. I promise you, when I get rich, rich, rich I am hiring Marlene to cook for me. Do you hear that, Marlene? With those new tax cuts sure to come my way, you may be moving to Michigan sooner than you think !

Caution's Precise Cooking

Last week, I used this slow cooker recipe and it was a great success with my family.  The significance of this is that more picky eaters per capita live in my home than in any other home in America.

Into the slow cooker, place:

• chicken (I used boneless, skinless breasts)
• 1/4 cup (I used far more) chicken broth (I used beef broth)
• 1 can cream of mushroom soup
• mushrooms

Four hours passed before I realized the slow cooker was turned on, but NOT plugged in.  DON'T do that.

After the chicken has cooked 5 or 6 hours in the slow cooker, in a different pan mix 1 cup sour cream and 1/4 cup flour.  Add that to the juice in the slow cooker and allow it to cook 15 to 30 minutes further.  I allowed it to cook for 5-10 minutes.

Whether you follow the recipe or my meanderings, it will be dee - lish!!  That's a promise :)

Yes to Substitutions

Never in my married life have I had all the listed ingredients for a recipe. No. Never. Sometimes it might be the biggie ingredient (like ice cream in a banana split), but other times it's just a little sneaky thing like baking powder or salt.

It used to be that I would just ignore the little lost item. Afterall, what did salt do to deserve living in a bread recipe? Pul-leaze. Then I would bake the food and it would taste terrible and I would still give it to a professor to eat and the professor usually said it was great. So there.

Then I experimented with leaving some of the big items out of recipes, and maybe - just maybe - that didn't go so great. It really didn't go so great when it was Christmas Eve and my parents were here and I had also invited over the most refined student I've ever worked with. She, of course, is a gourmet chef. But, no, that didn't stop me from cooking for her and forgetting an ingredient or two and still continuing to cook because it was Christmas Eve and the pizza place was already closed. Okay. My mom saved that one with some nifty rearranging of the menu.

Moving forward to this week. All I wanted to do was please my children and husband with a chocolate cake when they returned home from their labors. So there I was doing my usual Google thing. (I am very grateful that Google had a friendly take-over of my brain some time ago. What would I do without them?) I typed:
"What can I substitute for oil, eggs, water, et cetera in a cake?"

It was such a simple question; one I've used 20.1 million times already this week decade. But do you know what the first response hit was? Do you?

Not apple sauce, butter, yogurt or any of the other things I've learned about over the years.

The first response was this:

"When will people stop messing up recipes by substituting ingredients? If you don't have what you need, you have 3 options: 1. go to the store, 2. find another recipe, or 3. use your substitution and resign yourself to the fact that you have ruined the recipe."

After I stopped crying, I substituted every single ingredient in the recipe and instead of baking it for 35 minutes, I baked it for 20.  It was perfect.  So there!