I don't have much tolerance for people who are one-uppers like these:
Oh, no. A basketball net thingie just fell on Checkered's car!
Well, that's nothing. We had a basketball thingie and the child attached to it fall on our car!
We have ADD living in our house.
Too bad, but we have ADHD living in ours!
I can't believe I came in here for a gallon of milk and just spent $127.
I only came in here to use the bathroom and it cost me $289.
Pepper the puppy ate a Lego set.
How much was it worth?
I don't know. $10?
Okay, that's good because our dog ate my glasses. That was a $400 snack.
I have a crazy student in my class this term.
I'm sorry, but I have a crazy student and I'm crazy, too.
My butt is getting bigger.
Yes, it is.
(Sometimes they take a little one-upping break...)
It was a dark day recently when someone said to me,
"I see that your son has a lazy eye."
And I simply couldn't stop myself:
His eye is NOT lazy. It's called Duane Retraction Syndrome and it's a disorder for which there is no surgical intervention. It's sooooo much more than a lazy eye.
Perhaps spurred by the stricken look on the face of the other person, I had an epiphany. I had become one of THEM!
Gag.
