To my children:
Have you every heard of Barbara Mandrell? She used to be a well-known singer when I was a teen. She had money, she had fame, she had talent, she had beauty, and she even had a television show of her own. She had a great life. But then she made one big mistake.
Take a listen to this song:
Do you understand what she said? She said people could eat crackers in her bed!
I was thinking about that last night when Daddy and I went to bed only to discover that one of you ate Wheat Thins while in our bed. You had successfully hidden the box, but the evidence was there. Had we been clear-headed, we would have changed the sheets, but we weren't. So we just brushed the million gazillion crumbs aside and slept.
Now, back to that lady. Remember she was a star? She was on t.v.? She was glamorous and famous? Do you know where she is now?
She sings in Branson, Missouri. It was one short leap from eating in bed to Branson.
We hope you've learned a valuable lesson today.
Your crumby parents