Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Quilt Show Irregular

I am happy to report that I went to my first quilt show,
and learned some things you need to know.

  • Quiltese is an official language. It's very difficult to learn and may sound suspiciously like English, but you mustn't be fooled. Smile, nod, and keep your mouth shut if you don't speak it.

  • I know one Quiltese word and am trying to incorporate it into every conversation. When I say, "strongarm" "longarm," I sound incredibly smart.

  • If you need to feel young, attend a show and take a gander at the crowd.

  • Some quilt show attendees are catty. "I don't like her colors AT ALL," was a phrase I heard more than once.

  • Those catty people are probably sore losers.

  • Quilters are amazingly artistic and creative.

  • And patient. Can you imagine spending months or years on one quilt?

  • If I were a quilter, I would invest in a sports car or yacht longarm machine.

  • One quilt there had approximately 5,000 pieces!

  • It's maybe not good manners to walk right up to a quilt just as someone is taking a picture of it. The back of my head went home on more than one camera.

  • When I won a door prize, the lady behind me got rather indignant. She wanted my fabric. I didn't give in to the pressure.

  • Quilting is not necessarily a cost-effective hobby.

  • We were given plastic gloves to wear in case we desired to touch a quilt.

  • My friend, Mrs. Caisson, wore hers long enough to accumulate condensation in it, but then used her ungloved hand to touch the quilts again and again and again. That mistake, along with the horrified looks on the faces of the people around us, raised our endorphin levels significantly.
  • Quilters are good at naming their quilts:
Flying Pinwheels
I Wooly Love Ewe
Don't Try This at Home (Without Help)
Lunch Box Short a Sandwich (a Jill quilt)
  • And lastly, it's very easy to type quit instead of quilt.
  • I may well attend another show now.  Who would've guessed?


Decadent Housewife said...

Caution - You are entering a whole new world - likely could have bartered with the lady coveting your fabric win. Did she happen to be wearing any gold?

Lucy and Ethel said...

I love admiring quilts and having them, but while I've thought it would be fun to make little ones, I've never made time to learn how. My paternal grandmother made many, and my mother-in-law looked forward to her quilting days at the tiny community center in her tiny blip of a spot in Texas until the other quilters decided they were too old to continue.

It was a sad day when she realized her quilting days were over.

Maybe some day I'll clean out our closet and be inspired to do something creative with all the potential quilt-makin' scraps before I look for a match....


Unknown said...


Sorry, I had just fallen off my CHAIR!

I am so proud of you and excited...you are going to break down and join me right? Right? Come on...I haven't even been quilting (which I usually type as wuilting) for a year...you start off small and work your way up AND everything I have learned is either (a) from thye interwebs and blogs, (b) quilt shows, or (c) quilt magazines.

And, ahem...some of us quilters are not so old...we just don't have time for guild...there's another word for ya.

Unknown said...

funny story about long arm...I had dragged HWM to a quilt show and I was drooling over the long arm and demonstration...HWM asked the guy, "how much does one of these things cost?" (It was a large long arm with computer aided design)...the other guy told him $10,000 and Phil states VERY loudly..."Dang, I would rather buy a boat!"

claudia said...

You have already caught the quilting bug! Ha! Ha! You have it now too! I quilt, but mine take years!!! I have three going on right now as I type!

Anonymous said...

OH goodness! Who knew that quilts could stir such passions!?

Busy Bee Suz said...

Very cute. Catty quilters? MEOW! Who knew?

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

I love quilts. They all tell a story.You rock chickie.

Mary Ellen said...

I've yet to attend a bonafide quilt show, but enjoy them at the county fairs every year. I've noticed the cattiness there, sadly.

I had to stop by and tell you that your comment on my blog about Tom Selleck and birth control totally made my day!! I'm still giggling.

Jeannelle said...

And it sounds like you may well become a quilter yourself! What is longarm, anyway? When the ladies reach way across a quilt top to do stitches? I tried to quilt with the church ladies ONE time, but couldn't stand sitting for so long. Now I've taken up blogging which involves lots of sitting. It makes no sense whatsoever.

Unknown said...

Seriously, you are taking up QUILTING...I'm JEALOUS! I want to, I just KNOW another project right now would do me in!
IF you tell me it's not so hard....I'll follow.
I have several ideas for in mind, already!

Checkered said...

Lets not confuse appreciation for the art form with participation.

Rebecca Foster said...

I really love quilting. I've never been to a show, but now I want to go! I'll have to search for one when I return to the U.S.

Betty said...

haha, I like what Checkered had to say... :)
I´ve never been to a quilt show, but it sounds fascinating!

Grandma Tillie's Bakery said...

Our quilt show starts here the beginning of May. You can enter a quilt to show, but then you are required to log hours at the show protecting the quilts from people like your friend. Eh.

My brother attended the show ONCE. He brought his 3 small girls and was delighted how much fun they had running and hiding under the pretty blankets.

Dr.John said...

It is also easy to write guilt instead of quilt. That is what you feel when you don't quilt.