Monday, May 4, 2009

Until We Are Parted by Death

Shh! Please don't tell anyone, but the news is... that I'm thinking of leaving my dishwasher. Things between us started to go bad about three months ago. With no warning, the dishwasher got a mind of its own. It wanted to be with its own friends and no longer cared about what I liked. It stopped listening, stopped caring, and then the worst part? It stopped taking care of itself.

Where there used to be clean dishes, sparkling glassware, spotless cutlery, there is now a film. A grainy, thick film which can be washed off only with a sponge.

The glassware is not etched. It is covered in what appears to be dried, dirty water.

So far, I have:

pre-rinsed the dishes
not pre-rinsed the dishes
used powder detergent
used liquid detergent
used a heat dry
not used the heat dry
turned the water temperature up
run the kitchen sink until scalding before starting the dishwasher.

If that isn't enough, I have:

used vinegar
rinse aid
orange Tang

I have run full loads and empty loads.

I have used the hottest cycle and the rinse only cycle.

But what gets me?

It was just one year ago that I left my old dishwasher because it had the very same problem.

We consulted a counselor repairman who told us there was no hope. That we should go our own ways and not look back.

Then, this new dishwasher entered my life and took my heart -- only now to stomp on it and crush it.

I stand here now, sponge in hand, preparing to wash all the dishes that just came out of the wash cycle.

And I am bereft.

Yes, my name is Caution and I am about to get my third dishwasher divorce in ten years.


Mental P Mama said...

I have discovered that Shop Rite private label dishwashing gel cleans any and everything. Annie also swears by the Costco private label liquid;) Good luck.

Decadent Housewife said...

Thanks MPM and Caution for posting this, because it may save this marriage over here too.

Leila said...

Try cleaning out the filter and the spray holes, although I would think that the repairman would have checked that.

Then call Sears and buy a warranty on the stupid thing.

Then call the repairman. Either he will fix it or he will replace it! For $89 or whatever, it's worth it!

Sir Checkered said...

Alas, my queen. I have failed thee in my quest to rehabilitate the dragon. It would seem as though I've met my challenge. I have but only retreated to the wilderness to ponder this enigmatic beast. You will see. I will rise up victorious against this dirty villain. I will once again secure your faith in my humble skills.

Caution/Lisa said...

What's with SIR Checkered?

Busy Bee Suz said...

Such a sad situation. It just breaks my heart.
perhaps he did not like the ornage tang?

claudia said...

I haven't used my dishwasher since it decided that it would wash my floors while it was doing the dishes! That would be nice except that it just leaves all the water on the kitchen floor, not scrub and wipe up the water afterwards.
Have to laugh at SIR Checkered's comment, and then yours.

Laura ~Peach~ said...

LMAO at sir checkered... and MJ wonders why I simply can not be bothered with even wanting a lectric dishwasher... We hand wash... always have always will...
in answer to your question... I reckon the little hard head is hanging around upside down with his head securly nestled in his mommas pelvis quite warm and comfy continuing to cook as we speak... my SON on the other had may die a slow painful death if he texts me again saying nothing but "MOMMA!!!" seems as though sir Bradley is taking his sweet time and wants to be sure that those newborn diapers his momma has wont fit im at all... LAST FRIDAY they said he was 9 pounds. HAVE MERCY!

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

Damn dirty dishes!

Reddirt Woman said...

Did you all just go to a medieval fair? Or just watch the movie "A Knight's Tale"? Or does Checkered just get into role playing?

Better not answer that last one...TMI I'm afraid. It was a great post, I totally get about not using a dishwasher, but it's easier around my house because it's just adults and we can wash up pretty quick. But I will have to say that Checkered kind of stole your thunder with his comment. Let us know if Sir Clean manages to 'git 'er done!' okay...


Julie said...

please please write a book, you crack me up!

Dr.John said...

First you deny the problem. Then you accept it but think it can be solved. Then you try all the solutions of friends and neighbors.
You try professional counseling.
I am a

Dr.John said...

Somehow I got cut off on the last comment.
I am afraid you have reached the point where divorce is the only answer.

Jeannelle said...

When my dishwasher acts this way its because our water softener is not doing its duty. The two appliances conspire to irritate me from time to time.

Also, a dishwasher repairman told me once that people tend to use way too much detergent in dishwashers and washing machines. He said to never fill the soap dispenser more than half full, so I don't, and that does seem to help.

Jan said...

Wow...put dirty dishes in the dishwasher and they reappear dirtier. That's harsh.

Lucy and Ethel said...

Sorry I can't help with the dishwasher woes, as we are stuck in the dark ages with only 2-legged dishwashers. Not necessarily by choice, although I stopped grumbling long ago. About that, anyway.

However, I can share an award... and will!