FF: If I had a million dollars ...

...and yet another post where the strike-through font is king!

...I'd buy a plane ticket to more quickly get to my leisurely overnight stops in Nashville, Dallas, Colorado, Mt. Rushmore, Minneapolis, and Green Bay.  Since I don't have a million dollars, we have begun packing the pop-up.  I will admit to about 10 minutes of excitement recently regarding the trip.

...I'd buy a personal trainer since Checkered, my newest walking partner, forces allows agrees with me to stop at Starbucks when we walk.  Can you say tall mocha non-fat frappuccino?  I can.

...I'd buy some sort of hybrid toilet which would send industrial flushes when complete strangers my child needs them.  Then again, I am working my biceps and triceps with all the plunging I am forced to do each week.

...I'd buy some enthusiasm like the elderly woman at Kohl's changing room who pulled down her shirt to show me her ta-ta's yesterday.  She was a breast cancer survivor and challenged me to tell her which one was real :)  I couldn't.

...I'd buy Aging Mommy a little guest house in my yard.  Then she would be available to guide me through my reorganization attempts.  We'd start with the leftover schol supplies from last year (crayons/colored pencils) which are too old (and missing too many components) to reuse this year and too good to throw out.  We could combine them with our house-based school supplies, but that box is FULL. So what do I do?

...I'd buy my own in-house medical specialist who would tell me why my daughter has had two upper abdominal pain attacks lasting 2-3 hours and which are not helped by pain relievers.  Each attack has resulted in throwing up and a sore stomach the next day.

...I'd buy a painter to come finish my bathroom remodel which I loudly proclaimed would be finished by April 2009 2010 20??

...I'd buy more friends like the ones who took my son for a week's vacation.  He didn't even miss us, and that is just the way is should be!  Now we'll see how he does at Boy Scout camp in a tent with a much stricter environment.  I suspect he won't be missing us there either :)

and lastly, ...I'd buy the video surveillance tape of my daughter in a convenience store this week. She was frustrated that her youngest brother wouldn't answer her and wouldn't come when she told him that it was time to leave. So ... like loving sisters everywhere, she grabbed his arm and squeezed gently. Sadly, it wasn't her brother after all, but an elderly Asian woman.

These ellipses, strike-throughs, and non-parallel thoughts brought to you by:

   (Soon to be my IRL friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)