Putting a ban on the kitchen

This is a little souvenir from the time I accidentally turned on the burner that the loaf of bread was on. Now I'm thinking that the melted plastic actually makes the burner look a little cleaner.

This is a little memento from the time I assured my son that he absolutely WAS old enough to take something out of the oven.

If it's true that with three strikes I'll be out, I guess I should stay away from the kitchen for a while.

Just giving everyone fair notice.

Westward ho! (and keep your mind out of the gutter)

What has brought me happiness?

The blue ski blessing us as we fly across the prairie to kiss the wind.

That there is a pop-up camper following us is another matter...

Maybe it's just my poor pronunciation,

...but does this seem like the most promising name for a restaurant?

For other reasons to smile, go see Leigh.

Could you maybe have warned me?

It really might have been nice if you mothers of daughters older than mine could have warned me. Maybe then I might have been prepared. I might have put aside a little energy each energy payday so that my account would have been full. Maybe you could have coached me a little louder from the sidelines or offered me a game plan. But you didn't.

You left me to learn it all on my own and to fight my way through the training, with an occasional wrong turn.

Why didn't you tell me that when a daughter is old enough to go to high school dances, that there would be dress shopping, accessory shopping, hair appointments, nail appointments, boutonniere ordering, picture arrangements, dinner arrangements, and massive housecleaning when the picture arrangements mistakenly happen at MY house?

You might have hinted at the need for the little chats reminding our daughters of their worth and their futures and their values that will outlive this night and this date.

And it would have been okay if you had sent me an email telling me that by the time the doorbell rang, the dad's only job would be to shake the young man's hand while the mom would need two years of sleep to recover - but only after that precious daughter had been safely delivered back to her nicely-cleaned home after her unfairly early curfew.

FF: There's always someone crazier

This has been a LONG week full of craziness in our area, and although it's Friday, I suspect that some of that insanity may well continue through the week-end. So what's got my dander up?? I'll tell you!

~I am fed up with the parent at my children's school who careens into the parking lot each day and then lays on her horn in an attempt to get other drivers who are already parked to move their cars so she can more easily park.

~I am fed up with students who bombard me with email the very same day essays are turned in. No, I will not have 60 multi-page essays graded the same day they are submitted.

Okay, the fed up section is over. Now it's on to the confusion section.

~I am confused at the national surveys which determined this week that I do NOT live in one of the ten saddest cities, but that I DO live in the angriest city.

~Did you hear about the woman who tried to express mail a puppy? When the post office workers saw the box moving on its own, they got suspicious. The woman was tracked down and fined. She then tried to get her $20 shipped expense refunded.

~Then there's the Michigan driver who was driving while intoxicated. The driver called 911 to have someone to chat with and keep her company during her drive home. The dispatcher asked the driver if she was intoxicated, and the driver answered, "Absolutely!"

~Did you know that people are actually contributing money to a fund so that a statue of RoboCop can be built in Detroit? What could possibly be of more cultural value than that?

~Before you look at this picture of a bus from our school district, understand that the bus WAS legally stopped far enough back from what is a confusing train crossing. Now look at that crossing bar ON TOP of the bus. Kind of alarming, isn't is?

And finally we move to the most unsettling section:

~I was tying my child's shoe this week when he said, "Mommy, you have a whitehead." Cursing perimenopause, I dropped his laces and rushed to the mirror wondering how best to treat the acne he had noticed. What?? No blemishes anywhere on my face. But on my head? Lots of hair in need of a good color.

Some days I just can't win.

If you are sufficiently unsettled, head over the visit Mrs. 4444's. You'll find other fragmenters of similar ilk.

Unexpected Half-Times

I had a bad attitude about the Superbowl. I really did. You see, our church hosted a Superbowl party and the half-time show was to be turned off so we could hear a Michigan State football player share his faith journey. I really wanted to see the Black Eyed Peas instead (even though I may have referred to them as the Green Eyed Peas earlier that day.) When we got to the party, it was poorly attended, and that annoyed me, too.

But then I started to listen and to talk with Otis Wiley and his fiance, and I was truly impressed with their graciousness and their tender hearts. But most of all, I loved their passion for Christ. These two people will make a positive difference in this world well beyond football. Now my middle boy has a real football player - and a very fine man - he thinks of as his new friend.

I am so very glad we went to that party.

Now go see what makes everyone else happy today.

FF: The Nots Have It

* My youngest son survived his birthday party even though he did NOT want a party. He brightened considerably when I suggested a Nerf war and he realized he could fire at will. Do NOT lecture me on the gun thing, okay?
*My middle son did dress up for his brother's party, but was distraught on Sunday morning when he could NOT find his accessory just before we left for church. Hope springs eternal, however, because he FOUND it yesterday and another Sunday is right around the corner.

*At last count, I had more friends and acquaintances name Suzanne or Susan than any other name.

*My oldest son was part of a brass trio who a) got superior ratings for a competition last week and b) were invited to play at the elementary schools yesterday to recruit the incoming 6th graders for band. I had threatened encouraged my middle son to NOT make fun of his older brother. When the trio began to play, my middle son was horrified! He remembered my threats and thought furiously of what neutral comment he could make regarding their terrible playing. He was SOOOOOO relieved when he realized they were tuning and NOT really playing yet.

*Following the tour of elementary schools, the band director, guidance counselor, and principal all took the trio to McDonalds for breakfast and I thought that was uber cool. They did NOT invite me to go with them, however.

*My daughter told me all about a poop dryer her friend has. I could NOT understand my daughter's fascination until about 10 minutes later when I figured out that she had said, "Boot" dryer.

*No. I do NOT need a hearing aid, but that does remind me of how my nephew once asked for a hearing aid for Christmas. I think he was being a bit of smarty pants. He didn't know whether to be horrified or delighted when his grandfather made sure Santa delivered an old hearing aid on Christmas morning.


*And lastly, I have learned that boxers canNOT wear earrings, and thus ends any threat of me getting into boxing. Let all hearts rest more easily.



In order to assuage your disappointment from that last fragment, go visit Mrs. 4444's. She has an unlimited measure of energy and Green Bay enthusiasm.

A New Friend for YOU!

How is it that someone's good news can so often be sad news for someone else?

Here's an example of how that conundrum is playing out in this house:

Susan is lovely and a fairly new friend for me. She is a mom of a child who befriended my youngest son when he desperately needed someone to do that.

She is also a military wife and will soon leave our snow-bound state for another assignment much closer to her own family. It's happy news for her. Not so much for the entire state of Michigan.

Susan is a talented photographer, writer, AND BLOGGER!!

Would you do me a favor? Stop by http://alongfortheride-susan.blogspot.com/ and show her some blogger love (and fall in love with her breathtakingly beautiful children.) And while you're at it, tell her something wonderfully positive about me the state of Michigan.

Sincerely,

Caution

aka

a not so gifted photographer

I Sing the Praises of Facebook

So you want to know what I like about Facebook? How about this:

Before FB, I knew her as another neighbor, the mom of my son's friend, and the wife of Keith's scouting buddy.

Since FB, I've learned she is a grammar maven, a compassionate soul, a mean cube-truck driver, and a razor-sharp wit. But best of all? She's my friend.

For more happiness, visit Leigh