Principle One:
Swimming does, in fact, do an adequate job of substituting for one's bath - if one doesn't look or sniff too closely.
Principle Two:
Some students do feel compelled to share their innermost thoughts with their English teacher by way of introductions following the first class: "Hi, I'm Ted and I'm gay." "Hi, I'm Patricia and I think I'm pregnant." "Hi, I'm Dr. Caution and I'm going home by way of Dairy Queen."
Principle Three:
Young, hungry male children who have played outside all day will indeed lose their appetites when the nicely dressed woman in the next car picks her nose ... and eats every last thing that comes out of her nose.
Principle Four:
A medical visit will not be happy when the doctor greets asthmatic child and his mother by saying, "It's only the beginning of June and he had a flare-up in March, so he can't be having one this soon."
Principle Four, Part B:
Visit will get worse when doctor puts aside her comment that child is moving very little air, BUT HE HAS A SUNBURN AND MOSQUITO BITES!!! GOODNESS!! Those things give the doctor CHILLS.
Principle Five:
Some children read in bed or listen to a baseball game. If one's child is 10 and is texting in bed, that's allowable, too, until the vigilant mother learns that the women on the other side of the texts are 17 and 18.
Principle Six:
If a schoolboy waits until his mother is rushing him out the door - late to school - to empty his backpack for the previous day, there will always be an emergency note requesting that some magnficicent project or monetary donation be sent in that very day.
Principle Seven:
Harken thyself over to these sites (and it is here that Caution cannot recall if she is to be speaking in King James vernacular or Tolkien...)
here:
here:
and here:
