Say what you will, my third child has a profound understanding of my place in this family.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Alpha Dog
When Pepper joined our family last week, we worried about her self-concept and esteem. After all, she was told by the Big City Humane Society that she was a large dog. (Does 10 pounds at 3 months count as large?) And she was told that she is a black Lab. We are still looking for that Lab drop of blood in her.
So we wondered what would happen when she came home and met the crazy puppy from next door. Would that same crazy puppy tease our little mis-labeled dog? Would that neighbor who specializes in digging under the fence and barking incessantly and biting her owner be cruel to our mystery pedigree Pepper?
Well, here's how it works:
The neighbor dog runs outside several times a day and waits patiently for Pepper to be forced outside. Then the neighbor dog playfully calls to Pepper,
And the neighbor dog prances and jumps and puts her paw through the fence so Pepper can chew on it.
And once in a great while, Pepper deigns to be nice to the neighbor dog and sends her a text message. Sometimes, she actually says,"Hi," to the neighbor dog when they pass in the halls at school. And one time Pepper even smiled at the neighbor dog even though there was a cute guy nearby. And the neighbor dog is so happy and grateful because for a few seconds a day, she gets to be Pepper's BFF.
Pepper's self-esteem is coming along nicely, thank-you.
So we wondered what would happen when she came home and met the crazy puppy from next door. Would that same crazy puppy tease our little mis-labeled dog? Would that neighbor who specializes in digging under the fence and barking incessantly and biting her owner be cruel to our mystery pedigree Pepper?
Well, here's how it works:
The neighbor dog runs outside several times a day and waits patiently for Pepper to be forced outside. Then the neighbor dog playfully calls to Pepper,
"Please, Pep, will you run the fence with me? Please, please, Pepper, I'll let you snack on my untrimmed long grass if you will just sit with me at lunch acknowledge that I'm alive."
And the neighbor dog prances and jumps and puts her paw through the fence so Pepper can chew on it.
And once in a great while, Pepper deigns to be nice to the neighbor dog and sends her a text message. Sometimes, she actually says,"Hi," to the neighbor dog when they pass in the halls at school. And one time Pepper even smiled at the neighbor dog even though there was a cute guy nearby. And the neighbor dog is so happy and grateful because for a few seconds a day, she gets to be Pepper's BFF.
Pepper's self-esteem is coming along nicely, thank-you.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Do Not Silence Me
On Tuesday our kids went to school. This is a big year for us because it is the first time all four kids are in school all day. So on the first morning after they had all been taken to school, Checkered and I were at a loss how to spend the long day. We could have cleaned the house or finished up the laundry or taken a walk, but it was 90 degrees and gloriously sunny.
So what we did was take our little, old boat out to the lake and cruised around. Without the kids in the boat, we hit a record breaking 23 miles per hour! For two hours we rode and rode and looked at shacks and mansions, and seaweed, and anything else we could see. I thought of 2.3 million things that I needed to say during the course of that ride, but there was one little problem.
In order for me to talk, Checkered had to stop the boat, put the engine in neutral and I had to yell. By the time we went through that a bit, what I had to say didn't seem so pressing or brilliant and I remained quiet.
And so you wonder what vital lesson I learned through that experience?
What I learned is that I despise having my talking curtailed.
Profound, ain't it?
So what we did was take our little, old boat out to the lake and cruised around. Without the kids in the boat, we hit a record breaking 23 miles per hour! For two hours we rode and rode and looked at shacks and mansions, and seaweed, and anything else we could see. I thought of 2.3 million things that I needed to say during the course of that ride, but there was one little problem.
In order for me to talk, Checkered had to stop the boat, put the engine in neutral and I had to yell. By the time we went through that a bit, what I had to say didn't seem so pressing or brilliant and I remained quiet.
And so you wonder what vital lesson I learned through that experience?
What I learned is that I despise having my talking curtailed.
Profound, ain't it?
Friday, September 5, 2008
Labor Day
Hooking the boat up to the van: 10 minutes
Buying gas, snacks, and bait: 15 minutes
Driving to the lake: 20 minutes
Getting the boat into the water: 5 minutes
Realizing the boat battery is dead: 2 minutes
Opting for Plan B - ice cream at the Dairy Maid: Priceless
Thursday, September 4, 2008
What Was the Point of the Night Anyway?
We joined some neighborhood families last week-end in the big city. It was baseball night! Nothing more exciting than a beautiful, fairly new ball park.
What impressed my kids?
Was it the artistry?
Was it the 2 million steps we climbed to get to our seats?
Was it the 10 million degree weather or the gorgeous sunset that followed?
How about the cool score board and tiger with glowing eyes?
Was it our seats that were this close to the scoreboard?
What impressed my kids?
Was it the artistry?
Was it the 2 million steps we climbed to get to our seats?
Was it the 10 million degree weather or the gorgeous sunset that followed?
How about the cool score board and tiger with glowing eyes?
Was it our seats that were this close to the scoreboard?
Was it the fountains or the excitement of being in the one nice downtown area?
Was it being with friends?
Maybe it was those Little Caesars $5 pizzas selling for $14.50?
Or the amazing fireworks show at the end?
Could it be the rides within the park?
Perhaps it was the drunk lady who lost her balance and baptized me in her beer and then showed all those innocent cub scouts a side of the moon they had never before seen?
NO, NO, NO.
What my children took away from their night at the ball park was the image of the homeless man singing and dancing and asking for money. They didn't feel pity. They didn't feel compassion. They didn't feel even a twinge of responsibility. What they did feel was something akin to giggles at his silly song. And now my 6 year old has been singing the same song.
We had a fantastic night at the park. But someone mentioned that there was baseball being played while we there! I have no idea what they are talking about.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Mr. Obama, This is a change I don't believe in...part 2
I read a book a few weeks ago which changed my life. The book, Quaker Summer, by Lisa Samson is the fictional story of woman whose own life is transformed by the question of what does Christ want of her. She has spent her life making a lovely home for her family. She has been a good, thoughtful neighbor. She has offered her talents to those whom she feels need them. But what she has is a life of things, shallow friendships, and busyness. What she is not doing is making a difference in the name of Christ.
My synopsis pales horribly in comparison to Samson's writing, but suffice it say, the book changed me. Or maybe what it did was to help me acknowledge what I think the Lord is trying to do in my own life. I have begun to really pray and think about what Matthew 25:41-46 means in my day to day life.
I think we are to provide for those who have need.
So all said, I don't begrudge my friend her allotment from the government, BUT I do believe the system has enabled her to become a taker.
Last week I heard an interview Chris Cuomo had with Mr. Obama's chief economic advisor. Granted, it wasn't highbrow money talk, but the issue of tax cuts came up. Mr. Obama's advisor explained how a large segment of tax payers would pay lower taxes under Mr. Obama's plan. Cuomo kept asking how those tax cuts would be subsidized, but there was no direct answer. Finally, it was explained that anyone with an income of a certain level would see a tax increase. Cuomo asked why it wasn't labeled as a tax increase, and Mr. Obama's advisor said the new tax rates would simply be a reinstatement of old tax rates. Voila! No new taxes!
Now, in the past when I've heard that a certain income group will shoulder more responsibility, that group has always been some point we will never reach. What alarmed me this time was that if I go back to full-time work, WE will be in that category of tax increase.
Granted, I've not heard yet how Mr. McCain pledges to fix our money situation. Perhaps his proposal is equally as bad. I really need Chris Cuomo to explain it to me!
What really gets me is the Obama campaign's explanation that I am a "have" and have an even greater obligation to the "have nots." I thought of my friend, who does not work and is completely provided for. Checkered and I worked hard for our education. We work hard at our jobs. We give back to the community through our church and other groups. We don't have a lot in the bank and we don't have a lavish lifestyle. Is there room to simplify like Samson writes about? Yes. Is there more room for me to "do to the least of these"? Surely. But is the best way for me to do this a tax increase?
And now, Mr. Obama, that you've specified my new role in providing for society, does my friend have a new role for giving back to society or is it going to continue to be okay that some of us are givers and some will remain takers?
My synopsis pales horribly in comparison to Samson's writing, but suffice it say, the book changed me. Or maybe what it did was to help me acknowledge what I think the Lord is trying to do in my own life. I have begun to really pray and think about what Matthew 25:41-46 means in my day to day life.
I think we are to provide for those who have need.
So all said, I don't begrudge my friend her allotment from the government, BUT I do believe the system has enabled her to become a taker.
Last week I heard an interview Chris Cuomo had with Mr. Obama's chief economic advisor. Granted, it wasn't highbrow money talk, but the issue of tax cuts came up. Mr. Obama's advisor explained how a large segment of tax payers would pay lower taxes under Mr. Obama's plan. Cuomo kept asking how those tax cuts would be subsidized, but there was no direct answer. Finally, it was explained that anyone with an income of a certain level would see a tax increase. Cuomo asked why it wasn't labeled as a tax increase, and Mr. Obama's advisor said the new tax rates would simply be a reinstatement of old tax rates. Voila! No new taxes!
Now, in the past when I've heard that a certain income group will shoulder more responsibility, that group has always been some point we will never reach. What alarmed me this time was that if I go back to full-time work, WE will be in that category of tax increase.
Granted, I've not heard yet how Mr. McCain pledges to fix our money situation. Perhaps his proposal is equally as bad. I really need Chris Cuomo to explain it to me!
What really gets me is the Obama campaign's explanation that I am a "have" and have an even greater obligation to the "have nots." I thought of my friend, who does not work and is completely provided for. Checkered and I worked hard for our education. We work hard at our jobs. We give back to the community through our church and other groups. We don't have a lot in the bank and we don't have a lavish lifestyle. Is there room to simplify like Samson writes about? Yes. Is there more room for me to "do to the least of these"? Surely. But is the best way for me to do this a tax increase?
And now, Mr. Obama, that you've specified my new role in providing for society, does my friend have a new role for giving back to society or is it going to continue to be okay that some of us are givers and some will remain takers?
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Mr. Obama, This is a change I don't believe in ...
I have a good friend, who through my own quirky thinking, lives pretty well. She has ample food in her pantry. She lives in a lovely townhome. She and her children have medical insurance. She has a car to get around, and at the holidays, she has turkeys and hams and an abundance of gifts. Her children go to camp and participate in extracurricular activities. They have new school supplies and backpacks each year. She has internet access. If she chooses, she has job training and retraining available to her and when her children are college age, she won't have to cover most if any of their expenses.
Why?
Because my friend lives off the American government and the generosity of her neighbors. Her only "cash" income is child support and that ended when her ex lost his job. In other words, you and I support her.
Now before you react, understand that I acknowledge that my friend has experienced illness and injury. There are legitimate physical reasons why she can't work certain jobs. Her ankles are a mess and surgery exacerbated the problem. Her children have been sick and it is probably best that my friend be home after school. I get that and am sympathetic toward her situation.
At the same time, though, it seems to me that she could work some. She is home the hours her children are at school. When she has been offered some employment which would provide her a few hundred dollars in pocket money, she feels she must reject it because any record of earnings would make it impossible for her to keep her home and the other benefits. She has chosen to not accept the job training because then she would have to get a job. So what works best for her is to do nothing. NOTHING. And the government is okay with that.
I do love my friend. She is bright and laughs readily and her heart is preciously tender to others. She is kind to my kids and they like her and her children. She is woman of great ability.
But she has also learned to accept her lifestyle with ease. No, I wish her no embarrassment for her poverty. I do, however, wish that her lifetime of being provided for hadn't left her so willing to always look for the free road. My friend has no problem asking people if she can have household items she believes they are no longer using. She gets angry because one church does more to decorate her house than another church. Over the years, she has learned to drop subtle hints about which families are most generous to her at the holidays. My friend seems to have moved beyond the belief that this is a temporary station. She now seems to embrace the notion that because she is poor, she deserves all the help that can come her way.
I think about her often as Checkered and I each go to work and then come home to juggle bills. I think about that when my child is sick and we delay visiting the doctor because the $100 dollar fee for the office visit will arrive when our money is running way low. I think about that when we look at our decade(s) old furniture and know we can't replace it or cancel a trip to see family because gas would eat through the money we had saved for the trip. I think about it when I pay $100's for school supplies and sports and extra-curriculars. I think about it when I look at our kids' horribly embarrassing college savings accounts. And I think about it when my friend calls (on her free phone) to complain that she is poor.
And I was thinking about it when I heard an interview with Mr. Obama's chief economic advisor last week.
To be continued.
Why?
Because my friend lives off the American government and the generosity of her neighbors. Her only "cash" income is child support and that ended when her ex lost his job. In other words, you and I support her.
Now before you react, understand that I acknowledge that my friend has experienced illness and injury. There are legitimate physical reasons why she can't work certain jobs. Her ankles are a mess and surgery exacerbated the problem. Her children have been sick and it is probably best that my friend be home after school. I get that and am sympathetic toward her situation.
At the same time, though, it seems to me that she could work some. She is home the hours her children are at school. When she has been offered some employment which would provide her a few hundred dollars in pocket money, she feels she must reject it because any record of earnings would make it impossible for her to keep her home and the other benefits. She has chosen to not accept the job training because then she would have to get a job. So what works best for her is to do nothing. NOTHING. And the government is okay with that.
I do love my friend. She is bright and laughs readily and her heart is preciously tender to others. She is kind to my kids and they like her and her children. She is woman of great ability.
But she has also learned to accept her lifestyle with ease. No, I wish her no embarrassment for her poverty. I do, however, wish that her lifetime of being provided for hadn't left her so willing to always look for the free road. My friend has no problem asking people if she can have household items she believes they are no longer using. She gets angry because one church does more to decorate her house than another church. Over the years, she has learned to drop subtle hints about which families are most generous to her at the holidays. My friend seems to have moved beyond the belief that this is a temporary station. She now seems to embrace the notion that because she is poor, she deserves all the help that can come her way.
I think about her often as Checkered and I each go to work and then come home to juggle bills. I think about that when my child is sick and we delay visiting the doctor because the $100 dollar fee for the office visit will arrive when our money is running way low. I think about that when we look at our decade(s) old furniture and know we can't replace it or cancel a trip to see family because gas would eat through the money we had saved for the trip. I think about it when I pay $100's for school supplies and sports and extra-curriculars. I think about it when I look at our kids' horribly embarrassing college savings accounts. And I think about it when my friend calls (on her free phone) to complain that she is poor.
And I was thinking about it when I heard an interview with Mr. Obama's chief economic advisor last week.
To be continued.
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